“I’m gonna kill them.” The stabbing pain was creeping up the back of my neck. I could feel the headache beginning. “Both of em. I’m gonna kill em both.”
“David, listen to me. We don’t have to kill em.” He was scared. The sweat was beading on his forehead. He never did have a knack for these types of things. “Why can’t we just let them go…tell em to get lost and forget this ever happened?”
“Because Caleb, they won’t leave. Neither of them will ever fucking leave!” Mary couldn’t see how close the blade was to slicing her neck in half. “And, even if somehow they did leave; even if these two managed to make it across the damn country, this bitch would talk.” Her head snapped back as I pushed the blade into her neck just a bit, never cutting.
“She won’t talk. She’s got nothing to say. We haven’t done anything yet.”
I know that Caleb was a smart person. I know that he hid his intellect from quite a few people, but he must have forgotten who it was we were talking about. He must have forgotten everything that happened to get us here.
“Caleb, what the hell are you thinking about?” I walked towards him as he backed against the bed. Not really pointing the knife at him. He stood almost six foot two now, but when I’d met him he was nothing more than four and a half, five feet tall. Course, he was a kid back then too. Even though I was much smaller than him now, he was quite intimidated. “Have you forgotten how we got in this situation in the first place? Have you forgotten who put us here?”
He knew. That’s why he couldn’t say anything. I could see it in his eyes. He knew what had to be done with Mary and her pathetic “son.”
My headache wasn’t fading. The room smelled of medicine and urine. A strange combination, but no less potent because of its oddness. I always seemed to get a headache when talking to Mary and Johnny, but I’d guess the smell was helping considerably.
“David I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
“We’ve discussed it!” I turned on her, nearly stabbing right through her eye. The knife rested inches from her face and the warmth overwhelmed me. My skin was so hot. “You told, Mary. They took you in that room and broke you. There’s nothing else you can say.”
Her tears came more forceful now. Johnny’s soft whimper came from behind her. He would be next. I wanted him to see her go down first though. I wanted him to know that she was the one who put us all in this position.
“How long did it take Mary? How long were you in there…two, three minutes? You couldn’t wait to turn us in could you?” She shook her head, unable to talk. Guilt wasn’t enough; she needed to feel real pain.
“I…I couldn’t h-elp it…” Her words trailed off. She struggled with the restraints that held her steadfast to the chair. I could see Johnny behind her, slowly working at his as well. All for naught though. They weren’t going anywhere.
“You could help it Mary! You never had to turn us in!” I knew she felt sorry about telling the police about Caleb and I, but it didn’t matter. If she would turn us in once, she would do it again. It wasn’t even that I didn’t like her, because I did. She was just becoming a liability.
The sun was fading, casting a strange shadow across my feet. I looked briefly out the window, watching the leaves carry reality away on an assembly line. There wasn’t anything for miles around the building, though I never could figure out why.
“Look man, we can go, leave them here and be miles away before anyone even finds them.” Caleb’s head was bent, almost like a dog’s after he’d shit in the hallway. He was just trying to grab on to anything that could save them, but for the life of me I don’t know why.
“You’re not listening to me. They won’t leave us alone Caleb. They will keep coming back and we’ll never be able to get rid of em, unless we do this.” I looked at him but his eyes were locked in on Johnny. He had a soft spot for the crybaby too. “This has to be done.”
I couldn’t afford to let Mary turn us in again. The first time she told on us was after we killed Johnny’s two uncles. I did most of the work though, while Caleb helped only slightly. I’d had several other side projects prior to slitting the throats of the men who wreaked so much havoc on the kid’s life, but that was the big one. That’s the one that got us in trouble, and it was Mary who did it to us. Mary had known what was going to happen. She even watched as we did them in. But, she broke down after that. She apparently couldn’t handle it any longer.
“But, we can leave them alone. Mary’s not gonna tell on us. We haven’t even done anything. She can’t tell on us again for killing those child rapers.”
They’d taken turns raping Johnny. They’d led him to cheap motels around town, telling his mother they were going to the park or out to lunch. He was only eight at the time. His mom, that stupid bitch, had to have known. She could see the signs of what they were doing, but never wanted to face it.
“That’s not the issue!” I turned back toward him, showing him the knife in my hand. “I know that we haven’t done anything yet Caleb, but things must be done in the near future.” I could hear Johnny whining behind my shoulder. Nothing new though, as it was all he ever did.
“You don’t need to tell me what has to be done. I remember. But, we can just leave them here. No need to kill em.” He was fighting a battle he couldn’t win. He’d talked me out of killing people before, but this was not going to be one of those occasions.
“And you mean to tell me that when we do kill his dad,” pointing the knife toward Mary, “she’s not gonna tell?”
“I won…”
“Shut up!” My hand slammed hard against the side of her face. I looked at Johnny’s tear-filled eyes. They were wide open. I could see the blood in Mary’s face rushing immediately to the skin where she’d been hit. More tears. “You will tell Mary! You’ve proven that!”
I felt a tug at my arm and turned to see Caleb with a fire in his eyes not often shown.
Even though she was only sixteen, I could always sense he had certain feelings for Mary. She was quite pretty for her age, but I still can’t see what he saw in her. Maybe it was the way she acted as a mother figure for him and Johnny. Who knows?
“Listen to me David.” He was inches from my face. “We don’t need to kill them,” he paused and looked quickly to Mary, “and that’s the last time you hit her.” His eyes were determined and his breath came quickly. I smiled.
“Or what Caleb? What are you going to do?” His eyes wavered, losing touch with mine briefly. “Huh? What’re you gonna do?” His body tensed under the blade pushing into his stomach. I didn’t cut him through. That wasn’t necessary. He got the point. “Stand down Caleb.”
My smile must have influenced his decision. He backed away, touching his stomach, making sure he wasn’t going to bleed to death. If I’d wanted to kill him I could have. He knew that. I’d just nicked him a bit.
“You’ll be fine.” I watched him stumble backward, head shaking. He gave up, turning away from what was about to happen. Twenty-six and he never learned to stand up for himself. Or, more accurately, never learned to stand up to me.
“Now Johnny,” I said as I knelt down next to him. He tried to turn his face but I grabbed his chin. I could feel the cold tears beneath my fingertips. “I’m really sorry about what I gotta do to you now. But,” I turned his face to Mary, “she’s the one who’s put you here. She’s the one who told on me and Caleb when we took care of Donald and Bill. You remember how much you hated the both of them right?” He nodded. “Well we did you a favor, and then Mary decided that she wanted us to go away for a long time. She didn’t like us helping you Johnny, and now she’s forcing me to hurt you.”
“No…” he whined. His unkempt hair curled around his ears. Brown locks criss-crossed amidst a disheveled forest, giving way only to the tear-filled redness of his youthful face. It had only been a few years since we killed his uncles, but Johnny never seemed to age from that point. He always looked like he was about nine or ten. I probably looked much like that when I was his age.
“Yep.” I bounced up, happy about finally ridding myself of these two. Johnny was innocent enough, and maybe that’s why I wanted to kill him so badly. I wanted to feel that power, taking away his youthful existence. I had helped him once, but I really wanted to kill those guys anyway. I could have cared less if he needed my help back then or not. I needed to feel the power of the executioner. It just so happened that Johnny gave me an excuse to kill them, but I would have found one eventually.
I watched Caleb inch to the door of the room. He was a defeated man. I’ll never know why he loved these two so much when it was me who did everything for him. I protected him, helped him with all that he needed, and kept him out of trouble. He hated to see Mary and Johnny get done in, but I can almost guarantee that he would have been positively giddy to watch my throat get slit. But, even though he’d love to see it, he’d never be able to do the job. He’s too afraid.
“What are you doing?”
“Nothing.” He came with the short answer that could have been expected. I know he loved Mary.
“Then get away from the damn door.”
He stood, looking out the small window in the heavy metal door. He held one tan arm to his stomach. The other hanging loosely at his side. He looked like a man who’d just been told he had ten minutes to live. I’ll bet anything he was crying.
“Why do you have to act like this all the time? You’d think you’d be used to it by now.” I almost laughed at him. I couldn’t believe I’d kept him around this long.
“You know,” he began, “even if we do kill them…we’ve still gotta get out of here.” He never took his eyes from the glass.
“I know that Caleb. But, that’s not going to be a problem. The only way it will be a problem is if you make it one.” Mary was still crying behind me. “I’ve got things planned out. I mean, I’m the mother-fucking plan man!” My own laughter echoed in the room. It made it even funnier that the laughter was mixed with the cries of Mary and the kid.
“You’re an idiot.” Caleb shook his head, never looking anywhere but out the window. He used to be stronger before I got into his head. He used to be able to stand up for himself until the day he asked for my help. After that, he was nothing more than a shell of a man, just taking advice and direction from everyone else. He was pathetic.
“This isn’t how things are supposed to go. This wasn’t the way my life was supposed to end up.”
“Sure it is Caleb. You’re right where you’re supposed to be in life…living like a pussified servant! You’re not strong enough to stand up for yourself, and that’s why you need me. You depend on everyone else kid, and that’s why you’re here now.” My headache was getting worse but I tried to laugh it away. I’d developed a nasty stomach pain within the last few minutes as well and the side of my face had started to hurt. “Just remember that you were the one who asked for my help.” I looked around at Mary and Johnny, then back at Caleb. “And now that I’m helping you, you want to bail out! Well fuck that!” I walked behind Mary, pulling her hair back as I went.
“You don’t even know me.” His voice was dead sound.
“Yes I do bitch. I know you better than you know yourself.”
“You have no idea.”
“Whatever Caleb. Look over here, I want you to see this.” The knife played with the imperfections in her neck. I pulled her hair with my left hand and I could feel her shaking uncontrollably beneath me. Too many shakes and she’d kill herself. I paused and thought to myself just how funny that would have been.
“If you’re going to do that, you’d better do it quick.” He never took his eyes from the window.
“Why’s that?”
“Because Eckles is coming.”
“Damnit!” My heart sank through my stomach. But, I didn’t panic. I never panicked. I could see the smile on Caleb’s face. He loved it. “Well help me hide em!” I stuffed the knife between the mattresses.
“He’s got someone with him too. Looks professional.”
“Get over here and help me!” I dragged Mary’s chair to the shower, not wasting any time.
“Better hurry.” He stood by the door, content to watch me scramble trying to hide the two. Dragging Johnny’s chair was easier. He was much lighter. I sat both chairs in the shower, with their backs to the curtain.
“If either of you says a word, I’ll make sure you suffer.” Their eyes were scared. “I’ll let you watch the boy die Mary.” I smiled and patted her on the head. She wasn’t going to say a thing.
“Getting clo…” his words were ended as I grabbed him by the back of his shirt, cutting his air momentarily. Whipping him around, I could see the surprise in his face.
“Listen to me Caleb. Stay in the shower. I’ll do the talking. If either of them in there speaks a single fucking word, I’m not only going to kill them, but you’re going to follow soon after. Do you understand?”
He did.
“Alright then. Get in there and keep quiet!” He slammed into the back of the shower. I could see his face redden as I closed the curtain. I got to the bed as the heavy door pushed open, revealing Eckles and some other guy dressed in a suit and tie.
“Talking to someone in here,” Eckles asked. I could see he was a bit hesitant, like he didn’t know what to say or how to act.
“No no, just reading a bit. Now, if you’d walk your happy ass back out of here I’d like to continue.” He smiled that shitty white smile at me, looking like he’d just discovered the answer to a riddle that’s been on his mind for weeks. Sometimes I thought about cutting that smile right off his face.
“Ahh, David.” He looked at the other idiot and patted him on the back, stepping through the door. “So how have you been David?”
“Just fine. What do you need?”
“Oh, just thought I’d come down to see you real quick. I was showing Mr. DeMars around and I figured I’d stop by.” He touched a hand to the suit and tie’s arm. Always figured Eckles for someone like that.
“Great. Now I guess you’ll be on your way.” I wanted to stab them both, right there. I wanted to kill them so bad but I had to wait. Killing them would ruin everything.
“Well, I can see this is going nowhere.” He raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders at DeMars. “I’ll stop by some other time so that we can talk for real.”
“Can’t wait.”
“Alright David. If you need anything, feel free to call me.”
“Yeah.” I helped them to the door, hurrying them out of the room. Eckles would get what was coming to him too, but right now it was time for Mary and Johnny. The door clicked shut and I hurried to the shower, throwing back the curtain. They were both still crying and I laughed as I dragged their chairs back into the room.
“This doesn’t need to be done David.”
“Yes Caleb,” I smiled, “yes it does.” I looked down at Mary, so sweet and pretty. Soon she wouldn’t be so pretty. “Well now, where were we?”
She was terrified, and rightfully so. She was about to die. Really though, I don’t know that I needed to kill them. They were a liability, but I don’t know if they needed to die. But, nevertheless, I just liked killing people.
* * * * * *
Dr. Eckles locked the door behind him as he left. Mr. DeMars was fairly amused, yet confused at once.
“So that was Caleb Knowles eh? The infamous Eastland Executioner?”
“That’s right,” Dr. Eckles said. “Murdered nearly a dozen people along the southern edge of Minnesota, beginning with his two uncles. He was raped by em as a child and supposedly sought out his revenge. Killed them and a bunch of others. All done in the same way: throats slit, and the eyes taken out. Pretty gruesome really.”
“So why’d you call him David?” They turned the corner and descended the steps of the west wing of the hospital.
“Well I didn’t know who it was at first…never do. I had to hear him talk to know it was David in there. You see, what I didn’t tell you before is that Caleb has dissociative identity disorder. When he was a child, to escape the pain of being abused, he created other personalities to protect him and to take the punishment. So, when they raped him, it was like he wasn’t even there any more.”
“So David’s the other one’s name?”
“David Trenton was created in Caleb’s mind to stand up for him, and to hurt others. He’s the classic persecutor personality in Caleb’s mind. He actually thinks that he can hurt the other personalities without being hurt himself. Funny thing about David too, he’s the only one with a last name. Seems like he’s really important to Caleb. Important enough to have a last name I guess.”
“Yeah…yeah, I remember reading about the Knowles case now…in the newspapers. Pretty heavy stuff.”
“Everyone was fascinated by the idea that this guy could be a split personality…real whack-job. Some people didn’t believe it, but they haven’t spent any time with this guy in a room. It’s for real.”
“So what, or who are the other alters?”
“Well, the ones you didn’t see just now go by the names of Mary and Johnny. Johnny was created as the child alter…the one who gets to feel the real pain. Johnny came out whenever Caleb was abused, and so whenever Johnny comes out in that room,” he pointed back toward the steps, “there’s some real pain and emotion released. This kid had to deal with some pretty horrific stuff.”
“What about Mary?”
“Mary was created almost as a mother figure for everyone else. She’s around to keep everyone calm and out of trouble. But, it doesn’t work too well when David is in control. Caleb likely created Mary to make up for the fact that his own mother never paid attention, even when he told her about what his uncles were doing.” They turned a corner heading toward the entrance to the hospital. “Oh yeah, one of those dozen people he killed was her. Really did a number on her too.” They reached a large desk where a husky woman sat, genuinely disinterested in the doctor and his new assistant. Dr. Eckles signed a paper and they continued on their way.
“Anyway, when Caleb was questioned about the murders in the area, one of his alters surfaced in the interrogation room. Luckily, there was someone there who knew what was going on…like, knew about the disease and what it could do to people. Mary was the one who came out. She spilled the beans about everything. She told on David, who was really the one who killed everybody. It was pretty amazing stuff.”
“So any progress with him then? Like, is he getting better at all?”
“Not at all. Caleb refuses to believe that he has this disease. He insists that the people with whom he converses with are real. Caleb’s case is also pretty interesting because all of his personalities know about one another and actually talk about each other. Usually the main person doesn’t know about the alters, but Caleb has a full awareness of Mary, David and Johnny. He just thinks they’re real people. No one can convince him any differently.”
The two walked out into the fading sun of the evening. They shook hands and DeMars shook his head. Eckles smiled. “I wouldn’t doubt it if he’s up there right now arguing with himself. I know he was before we walked in.”
“Amazing.”
“Yeah, you got a whole new world to get used to in here.” Eckles pointed toward the rain stained walls of the hospital. It was dark, cold.
“I just hope they get their argument finished before bedtime,” DeMars said. “Wouldn’t want to go to sleep angry.”
Dr. Eckles laughed hard. Probably harder than he should have.
* * * * * *
The blade felt good in my hand. Pretty convenient how they hadn’t checked my room in over a week. They were getting too comfortable. They were going to have to pay.
“Time to dance!” I looked at them, pathetic in their refusal to stand up for themselves. I was the one who always had to fight for them. Now, I was fighting against them. I couldn’t wait.
“You can’t kill them David.” Caleb was sitting on the bed. He’d given up long ago, yet he still spoke. No emotion behind his words though. No feeling. “It won’t work.”
“It will work. It’ll work because I said it will.” I couldn’t keep from laughing as they struggled under their restraints. Ever so softly, I caressed Mary’s hair. It was dirty. She hadn’t bathed in some time.
“Don’t do it.”
“It’s already done Caleb.” I smiled at him and then looked to Johnny. “Here you go kid, look at what Mary’s gotten you into.” He was crying. “It’s gotta be done boy.”
With one swift motion I drained the life from her body, slitting the delicate skin of her neck. She coughed, but nothing more than a gargling noise came from her throat. The blood came in waves, spilling onto my shirt…my pants…my shoes. I could smell the coppery metal. I could taste it.
There was never a time when I was happier with my life than after I would kill someone. Maybe it was something about releasing my anger on someone who was more or less innocent. Maybe it was the rush of excitement I felt as I took someone’s life before their eyes. Whatever it was, it was euphoric. My skin tingled at the sight of the blood.
“Look what you’ve done David. Look closely.” Caleb never turned his head to me. He was drained. I looked at him and my vision began to blur. The room was spinning, fuzzing over at the edges. The blood was everywhere. All over my shirt…all over me. My blood.
“Wh-what h-is this?” I crashed down onto the bed. I couldn’t even stand. This had never happened before. I’d never gone queasy over killing anyone. What was happening?
“I told you, you couldn’t kill them. You couldn’t kill them because they are you David.”
I couldn’t speak. I tried to talk but nothing came out. I was soaked in blood. Blood that was coming from my neck.
“You’ve killed us all David.”
Blood was pouring down over my white shirt in waves. I’d been tricked. That slut had tricked me into something. But how…how had this happened? What had happened?
“You’ve killed us all.”
A black cloud covered my vision and I could feel the warm blood running down my arms. I was getting tired…going to sleep…falling asleep…so tired.
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